JESUS FUCKN CHR*ST

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If you are looking for a visceral experience do some bloody Breathwork!

I have been attending evolutionary breath work courses in London for just over a year now. Each session has proven to be both varied and extremely therapeutic.

Not only is Evolutionary Breathwork a drug free process, it has also been far more effective than medication in my experience, particularly in helping me through patches of depression.

The basic gist of Evolutionary Breathwork is that you breathe in a certain way for a sustained period of time in order to send an abundance of oxygen around the body; you usually go into an altered state of semi-conciousness. This helps one get fully into their body and past the intellect, allowing for long held tensions and trauma to be released.

Last week I attended a week long retreat of Evolutionary Breathwork in the both anarchic and beautiful Marrakech run by David Parker (of London) and Mel (of Glastonbury). The winter sun and surroundings of Morocco along with the Riad we were staying in “Les Borj de la Kasbah”, made for an exciting, peaceful and idillic getaway.

I had some idea of what I was in for due to my previous experiences, however, I had never done so many sessions in such quick succession before.

Throughout the course we practiced meditation, cleansed our spirits, had intimate group discussions addressing issues such as codependency and low self-esteem, experienced a moroccan Hamam, and claimed our powers back in the foothills of the Atlas Mountains. These activities helped us as a group to develop a strong bond as well as giving us all a major dose of self-love.

Amongst these activities came the core of the course, the Breathwork itself. Even though I was assisting on the course I was still able to do 3 “breathes” over the duration of the week.

“The eye stare”, was the first one in which we sat on chairs and stared into our designated partners eyes for half an hour whilst breathing through our noses. We lay down for the second half and continued the eye stare. At first I thought nothing was happening as I had walked into the room with a lot of tension and was concerned I wouldn’t be able to let go of it, however, by the end I was well into the process.

I came around feeling slightly melancholy, I knew something had shifted and a process had begun.

A day or so later I was still feeling a bit blocked and was eager to breathe gain. This time we did a “3-way eye stare”, focusing on the theme of the day which was codependency. Again we began fairly simply, this time with music playing. We were not long in when I began to get emotional. I was crying completely uninhibited, wailing loud like a baby, it was painful but I was relieved to know that it was coming out. I hadn’t cried like that since my last breathe and before that since I had been locked in a mental institution at 17. It was clear to me that there was some big un-dealt with stuff coming up for me. The other two in the group were also getting emotional; one of them offered me their hand followed by the other. This made me to feel supported allowing my emotions to happen freely and I wailed even more.

Then for a time I was fluctuating between laughing hysterically and crying. As the time went on I began to have flash backs into my teenage years. I remembered some happy times which had, up until the breathe, been hidden behind the negativity of physical and emotional abuse I had received at school. I had blocked all of them out so I could avoid re-living the trauma, but with this release I got to see the positivity that did in fact exist in those times.

Slowly I began to tune into the music that was playing, it was a rap song, soft, meaningful and intelligent. I was mid way through crying and laughing when the final lyric of the song came in as clearly as the first sound in space. It punched me in the heart so hard it was like when Mia Wallace gets stabbed in the heart with adrenaline during her overdose pulp fiction. I bent over double in my chair, my heart pounding. It was as if everything that I needed to hear in that moment was in that one phrase which spontaneously happened at that time in the breath. I simply cannot describe how bloody relevant and powerful it was. No drug has EVER had such a thrilling, visceral and beneficial effect on me.

I came around feeling absolutely speechless, buzzing with love and feeling for the first time all week unguarded, relaxed and free.

This was the most profound breathing experience I have had to date and If that had been the only experience I had on the retreat it would still have been worth it.

Over the next few days there was a marked improvement in my mood and general being. I felt alive again and my creativity had a boom.

I enjoyed our dinners and nights out in the square like I was a child experiencing everything for the first time again.

The final breathe was on the penultimate day. I didn’t want to break my bright spell but I knew that whatever happened it would be beneficial.

We did a “lying down starfish breathe”, with everyones heads pointing towards the centre of the room. This was to be our least supervised breathe yet and we were dealing with self-empowerment and abandonment issues. This breathe was my least comfortable, I was fidgeting and spasming all throughout the process and when it was time to come around I wasn’t ready.

I didn’t really come around fully until everyone had left the room. I woke up scared and nervous. The closest thing I could compare it to was psychosis that I had experienced years before when I had a funny reaction to Mephedrone. It took me an hour to come out of it and with the assistance of Mel I came back around fully. Clearly something had surfaced for me that I need to deal with and I’m sure this will come up next time I breathe.

Over the course of the last few days and with the wind down of our course and a fire ceremony in which we burnt our resentments before a moroccan meal with musicians and belly dancer, I have gained some clarity.

The Breathwork retreat was not relaxing by any means, but what it was, was a profound, loving, developmental and necessary start to the year in which all my armour has been stripped off and I am fully open and surrendered to what life has to offer.

My being had been clamped shut and with the Breathwork, some serious self-assessment and a large helping of love I have been opened up.

I would highly recommend this course and Breathwork sessions in London to anyone who wants to truly do something progressive and loving for themselves. If you are feeling stuck, worn out, sad, lonely, down, uncomfortable or just like you’re ready to free yourself of some past demons then do it. You will not be sorry.

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You can find out more information on breathwork and next years retreat by following the link below…

http://urbanlifeclass.me/category/marrakech-retreat/

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So get breathing.

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Written and Recommended by Ted Rogers “Artpornblog”

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