FOOD PORN: [SHIT SALAD!]

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THE PROBLEM WITH SALAD

SALAD – Not only a word that loses it’s meaning the more you read it, but also a popular, healthy and versatile snack or meal.

So how do so many places get it SO wrong!

The issue here is that too often, “Salad” to many people, restaurants and other  food based places and things seems to mean, “some shit dead lettuce and a fractal of tomato on a nasty little white plate with no seasoning”. You may as well be eating slightly discoloured wafers of bitter air.

WELL NO, a salad does not have to leave you famished, disappointed, regretful or angry!

Salad, by definition, is a gathering of raw vegetables, occasionally accompanied by meat. It’s a party of naked delight and has a million zillion options to explore.

Nowhere does it say that a salad is a sorry excuse to accompany your nasty greasy chips and omelette. Nowhere does it mention the word DEAD and nowhere does it have a 4 ingredient max rule written into its leafy ass contract.

SALAD is and can be WONDERFUL!

In my experience, a truly satisfying salad does NOT just rely on the leaves. A generous addition of Lentils, Wheat Berries, Cauliflower or Quinoa can turn your raw delight from pro-ana to pro-tein pro professional salad YESness! Offering nourishment that caters to almost all food preferences ailments, and allergy specifications.

You can easily make salads in: Meat form, Pescetarian, Vegetarian, Vegan, Nut free, Nut filled, Salad of nuts, Bukake and Bareback (unseasoned) versions.

Some restaurants even let you turn your burger into a salad, genius if you don’t fancy a brioche bun blocking your bowels for 3 days before it processes.

So don’t let yourself be limited. And if you’re a stingy salad sinner, SORT IT OUT! There are no excuses anymore, you HAVE been told!

Salad, DONE!

Written by Ted Rogers “Artpornblog”

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