TRANNY SECRETS!

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We all have needs and desires and it’s no different when you travel.

But what happens when your plane lands in sunny Ibiza, your feeling all cheeky and all of a sudden you realise… “Bugger”… I haven’t packed my douche?!

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You have a few options:

-Either desperately run around the island like a desperate housewife looking for a decent sex shop and buy a new douche,

– Hope to God that your shower has an unscrew-able head on the hose,
– Go dirty, (This is not a fun option),

-Or…use this homemade, DIY “on-the-go” version of a douche that was bought to my intention from the ever inventive, “MJ Woodbridge”, one cold January in Berlin…

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Step 1: Find a squeezable water bottle, (available almost anywhere that sells anything!)

Step 2: Empty the bottle of it’s current contents especially if it’s sparkling, (Unless you want an extra fizzy experience).

Step 3: Fill the bottle with water, choose a temperature that will makes your insides feel relaxed, you don’t want a burnt colon now.

Step 4: Squat over the loo/shower/latrine, press the ring against your ring, PLEASE NOTE – No need to put the bottle inside! And then squeeze! It may help to slightly push out so the water finds it way inside.

Step 5: Stand up, hold it in and jiggle around for 10 seconds.

Step 6: LET IT FLOW!

[Repeat Steps 3 – 6 Until you feel fully cleansed and ready to fly!]

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If you are trying to be discreet then the water bottle is the perfect tool. It’s easily disposable and looks like a bottle duh, so there’s no need to try and awkwardly hide it under a t-shirt or towel.

Remember, DO NOT mistake it as a water bottle if you are looking for something to drink from afterwards.

Have fun, be horny and free and remember there’s always a way to get it done!

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Love Ted Rogers “Artpornblog”
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