POEM/RANT

Umbrellas need to fuck off…

Entitled eye poking umbrella twats,

You cause such carnage when it’s raining cats and dogs,

Bogs and storms form unsightly devils horns,

Coming at my face in an antisocial manner.

Don’t make it my business when you wave your rain dodging banner.

You’re just gonna lose the damn thing in the depths of spring when you need it most.

I couldn’t give a shit if Poseidon sent the whole coastline over our heads.

Your umbrellas nearly have me dead.

Get a hat, get a hood,

But fuck off with your umbrella for good!

–

Written by Ted Rogers “Artpornblog”

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